Skip to content

The “A” Word

July 30, 2011

Hey guys!

Wow, it’s been almost a week since I last blogged, huh?

Firstly, check out my new 100 Things page. I added all 10 weeks, all 100 things. I invite any and all of you to take the 100 Things challenge as well!  🙂

This past week has been full of ups and downs for me. I’ve still not gained back the weight I lost at the beginning of this month, but I haven’t lost any more either. I leave for Hungary on Monday, and I’m kind of anticipating the inevitable weight gain. I mean, I’ll be eating full-fat ice cream, lángos (deep-fried potato dough topped with garlic oil and cheese), creamy stews, french fries, tons of white bread, pastries. I’d have to try really hard to not gain weight. Since I need to gain weight anyway and I figure it’ll just happen once I’m there, I’ve not been actively trying to gain anything. I just think to myself, “it’s better if you start out a pound underweight, that way you can gain 2 or 3 while you’re there and not worry.” Maybe that is a problem. Maybe it’s an ED thought. But really, if I eat a ton on vacation, I think it’s ok that I haven’t been eating a ton here.

So tomorrow I’ll post a little more about Hungary, but for now there was something else that’s been on my mind.

Oooookay, well this is a really, really erm…avoided subject, to say the least. It’s about a topic people don’t like to talk about. But I’ve noticed that a couple other of you bloggers have talked about it, and since this is my blog after all, why not?

What am I even talking about? I’m talking about the taboo subject of religion. Even more specifically, the A word: atheism. You see, I’m an atheist. There. I said it.

Yes, I know I’ve kind of touched on this subject here, but I never went into more detail. Why not? Because according to a study done by the University of Minnesota, a poll of 2,000 households found that atheists are the most distrusted group of minorities, even more so than Muslims, “illegal immigrants,” gays and lesbians, and any other group.

I think, because of the disrespect, distrust, and just general dislike of atheism in this country (and the world) coming out as an atheist is comparable to coming out as gay. There’s so much stigma, so much fear of rejection, that we just keep it in. But there’s my problem. I have been keeping it in. With the exception of K and AJ (neither of whom are bothered the least bit by it) I’ve not told anybody. And with each passing day, the urge to get it off my chest grows stronger and stronger.  Neither of my parents are atheists, nor is anyone else in my family. Which, I’m sure you can imagine, makes it extra hard for me to say anything. (So typing it on my blog for anyone on internet-land to read is the solution, clearly.)

I’m not at all ashamed of this (lack of) belief. So many people I look up to are atheists: Daniel Radcliffe, Seth MacFarlane, Bill Maher, Hugh Laurie. If they proudly admit it, I can too! More than anything, I’m just scared my friends or others in my life might possibly stop liking me. I guess if they stop liking my because of this, then they weren’t true friends after all. But still, it’d hurt.

Ah well, I shall tell everyone in my life eventually. All in good time. 

Anyway, I decided that this was a start. Blogging about it was an easy, more impersonal way to declare the true me. You don’t have to respect it, just accept it.

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”



So, uh…any thoughts on my atheism? (Read: will you guys still be my friends?)

Any fun plans for August?

13 Comments leave one →
  1. July 30, 2011 8:14 pm

    I think it’s very brave of you to announce that and I’m proud of you for being true to yourself 🙂 My brother is a very firm atheist and makes you feel like a fool if you have slight religious beliefs. Unfortunately he’s the type of person that believes that he is right and feels the need to make everyone believe what he does. Now if that’s not pushing your views onto others like that of religious people, then I don’t know what is.

    I am an agnostic. I don’t know what to believe. I’ve always been so damn indecisive about everything and religion is not exception 😛

    I hope your mind isn’t playing too many tricks on you, sweetie ❤


  2. July 30, 2011 8:45 pm

    Even though I’m definitely not an atheist, I’m still very accepting of people of all religions (or lack of religion). I just feel like everyone can choose what they want to believe in and while it would be great if everyone were the same when it comes to beliefs, I know that’s impossible.

    Personally, being in college and being a Christian makes me feel like a minority. I feel like a lot of people were raised as Christians but over time stopped believing and went their own way. I don’t usually tell people outright about my beliefs, because I’m scared of being judged. There are many negative connotations about my religion, but I hate to be lumped in there when I’m not like that at all.

    I hope you have fun in Hungary. Can’t wait to see pictures 😀

  3. Laura permalink
    July 30, 2011 8:46 pm

    I know I haven’t commented in a while, but I just had to give you support with this post. I’m athiest, too. No shame.
    P.S. I think, honestly, that your thinking about the weight gain is pretty disordered. Think about how hard, emotionally (and physically, when you have a fast metabolism) it is to gain weight. Even if you do eat full-fat ice cream (gasp) and fried stuff, your mind is kind of tricking you into believing that stuff equals ineviteable weight gain. It doesn’t. In my experience, when I eat fear foods, I’m more likely to restrict and overestimate the nutritional content of what I’m eating, which often leads to the opposite. Be careful.

  4. July 30, 2011 10:35 pm

    Ah, I always find that Religion is a difficult topic to discuss. I consider myself agnostic, I would love to believe in God/a God, but I actually find that I just can’t, you know? I’m indecisive. But I go to a Catholic school, and Religion is a compulsory subject, and I always have an awkward time answering essays, where you have to talk about God as if you fully believe.
    I find it really sad that everyone can’t just respect and tolerate other’s beliefs – and that there have to be that small minority of crazy fundamentalists (in all religions) that can ruin everything… And being atheist/agnostic doesn’t necessarily make you a cruel, callous person – it’s just the same as how being religious doesn’t exactly make you the best person in the world (and, of course, vice versa – I’ve heard of plenty of atheists that don’t have any inkling of ethics or morals… And I know hundreds of beautiful, religious souls.)
    Gosh, I really hope I don’t offend anyone…

  5. Claire permalink
    July 31, 2011 12:55 am

    gosh, those thoughts about weight and food seem so disordered! try to think rationally, be you not your ED! I hope you really think about it and realize you need to gain, and get rid of that sucky ED of yours, it’s only harming and hurting you!

  6. July 31, 2011 4:39 am

    That so exiting that you’re going to Hungry again – I’m so happy for you!

    For me a person’s religious beliefs are ENTIRELY up to them. No one should be able to judge and say “well, I’m right and you’re wrong”. Everyone has a right to believe what they want and how they want – as long as their beliefs don’t cause them to do things to hurt others. When other people end up suffering because you believe it’s “right” then I think they’ve taken things a little too far.

  7. July 31, 2011 1:27 pm

    Good for you for putting your beliefs out there, Bryana! I have several friends who are Atheists and I completely respect that (they also come from religious families- one of them has an uncle that is a priest). I can also relate to what Ash says- I get a lot of crap for being a Christian, especially in the gay community. Lots of people relate Christianity with homophobia an bigotry, but not all Christians think alike.

    Your thoughts sound a bit disordered. It’s hard to gain weight once you’ve restricted b/c your metabolism goes into overdrive once you start eating more.

    Bodies are smart- they know how to adjust metabolism accordingly based on how much you’re eating and what your set point is. I doubt one vacation of eating more fat than you usually do will make you gain more than you need to, even if you try to gain weight before your trip.

    But anyway, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!! I hope you have an AMAZING trip!!!!!

  8. Camilla permalink
    August 1, 2011 10:10 am

    I’m Christian, but honestly, I don’t care much what others believe! Everybody has their own thoughts and we should respect that 🙂 Hope you’re doing good and have fun in Hungary! 😀

  9. Emily permalink
    August 1, 2011 9:59 pm

    I am Christian but I understand that this world is full of people who are different in so many ways and I love that! You don’t have to feel ashamed of your beliefs, whatever they are. You are a great girl and you’re absolutely right- anyone who changes their opinion of you for no other reason than you don’t think exactly the way they do isn’t a great person to have around. Have fun in Hungary 🙂

  10. August 2, 2011 10:37 pm

    I myself am christian, but not like you because you are an atheist?! No way! I know plenty of atheists, and while I may not share the same belief, it is a belief nonetheless, and I find it interesting just like any religion!

    Have a great time in Hungary 🙂


  11. Jessica permalink
    August 3, 2011 9:52 am

    Hey girl! I love this and your bravery in posting it. I, too, am an atheist although sometimes I sway back to agnosticism because, if you can’t prove something exists you can’t disprove it’s existence either. I would say I spend 90% of my time on the atheist bench though.

    I have found that there are a great more “in the closet” non-believers than we are led to be believe and certainly in our generation. I agree that it’s definitely a taboo topic but I think it’s becoming less so. I found when I went to university, younger people are much more open about admitting being atheist. On the other hand, I was on the receiving end of quite a lot of disrespect from the Christian Unions and other students. I respect their right to believe without getting told they’re wrong and I think they should extend the same courtesy. I know this doesn’t apply to the vast majority of Christians (or any other denominations) but a small minority of extreme believers who want to force their views on others but it taints the rest. Likewise, I think the so-called militant atheists like Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins etc do the atheist wing no help sometimes. It makes atheists look like completely intolerant people and that’s not the truth at all.

    Wow, I’m rambling and probably have made a lot of enemies now! You shouldn’t be ashamed at all and the more people who come out of the shadows, more people will follow.

  12. Sarah permalink
    August 3, 2011 2:51 pm

    I think I’m an athiest too…or agnostic…i don’t know! I was raised baptist and, no offense to anyone who holds those beliefs, but I know for CERTAIN i am not a baptist, lol. Religion in general is a tough topic for people, I’m so glad you’re putting your beliefs out there Bryana. You have nothing to be ashamed of!

  13. August 3, 2011 11:35 pm

    So I had to jump in real quick, even though I don’t usually talk about religion a whole lot on blogs. Not that I don’t want to. It’s just really deap and emotions can be misread easily when typed.

    But here goes… I’m a Christian. I’m not ashamed to say that I believe that the God I serve is THE God. The only One. I base all my beliefs on the Bible, so I have to go by that. This isn’t me deciding to shun everyone else and their beliefs. I just have to cling to the belief that is so alive to me. That being said, I’d never treat someone differently just because they believed something different than me. God Himself didn’t come down on people who didn’t believe, so why should I even consider it? You’re a person too! And all people are due respect and love.

    As for that quote…

    **”Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?” — The Bible says that God is omnipotent, all-knowing, and in control of everything that happens and will happen. So, yes, he is able.
    **”Is he able, but not willing? Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?” — God created a perfect world, but man sinned and did the one thing God had told him not to. So sin entered the world and with it came sickness, evil, and death. God could have forced His creation to obey and not allowed Adam and Eve — the first man and woman — to sin, but He is a fair God and so He allows free will. With this free will — and with the appearance of sin — comes murder, and disease, and even natural disasters. It is God’s wish that people will choose Him. If we were forced, our believing Him would not be a choice. But that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t hate the pain we experience.

    I know that a lot of people — especially these days — find Christianity to be restrictive and not accepting of other religions. But when you know — really know — that God is the creator, then how can you not want others to know the same?

    And, yes, I know that there are Christians who give the Christian religion a bad name, because in their quest to share their faith, they lash out in passion that often turns to anger or cruelty. They’re human too. With free will. And they make mistakes. Only God is perfect. And I imagine that the quote by Epicurus makes Him weep, because He loves us more than we could ever know.

    Oh, and for the record, I’ll still be your friend. Will you still be mine? 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: