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Leaving Me.

July 23, 2011

AJ’s leaving. Like, definitely. 

Up until now, I was holding onto a sliver of a sliver of hope that he might stay. Now that’s gone. Hope is lost. He’s leaving me.

I know how terribly self-centered this sounds. With all the violence, pain, tragedy and heartbreak going on in the world, all I can care about is my friend moving. But (and again, this makes me sound so shallow and conceited; sorry) for me, this is heartbreak. My heart is already broken. 

I’m exhausted from trying to be strong and to not cry as much as I’d really like. I’m exhausted from finally breaking down and bawling, while neither my parents, nor my friends, nor AJ himself know what to do with me.



I feel sick.


I’m sorry guys, I know this has nothing to do with you and you probably don’t care. I just needed to write it out somewhere; I hope you understand. And thanks for the support about this situation on my last post. I really appreciate it.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. July 23, 2011 8:59 pm

    I’m so sorry, Bry
    You know that I’m here for you.
    He will always be there for you, too.. Distance doesn’t mean your relationship will get any less strong.
    Love you!

  2. July 23, 2011 9:41 pm

    Oh Bryana, I’m truly sorry he’s leaving you! I can understand your emotions and I wish there was some way I could help. Like Haley said, you are such good friends that the distance can’t separate you. I know you can get through this, even though it’s incredibly hard to have to say goodbye to a really good friend like AJ.

  3. July 23, 2011 10:56 pm

    Aw hun, I feel for you. My sister is moving away tomorrow actually and it is so incredibly difficult to be separated from someone you see everyday and love so much. For me at least I know I’ll get to see her in a few months.

    I think Ash and Haley are right – your friendship CAN remain. It might evolve and change, but you can still stay close.

    And don’t invalidate your feelings and thoughts. I’m guilty of that too, but everyone’s feelings are valid and every form of sorrow and suffering is relative.

    Thinking of you.

  4. July 24, 2011 2:16 am

    Bryana, all I want to do is send you a big hug right now.
    Since I spent so much of my life travelling there have been so many times I’ve had to say good-bye to very dear friends, and I know the pain you’re going through far too well. Just remember though that you’ll still always be friends – distance just doesn’t change things like that. And the pain you’re going through right now will fade, I promise. It gets easier, so please hold on.
    Take care hun! Lots of hugs.

  5. Camilla permalink
    July 24, 2011 10:53 am

    Take care darling! Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, then it’s not the end. Lots of hugs. ❤

  6. July 25, 2011 6:24 pm

    Let the tears out, it’s healthy ❤ It will be okay ❤

  7. Ray permalink
    August 3, 2011 3:51 pm

    don’t compare your pain to the pain of the world. your troubles are your own, and they impact you each day. losing good friends- even if it’s only a geographical change- can feel earth shattering. i’m going through the same thing, and it really sucks. so let yourself feel it out, and it’ll eventually be okay- at least that’s what i’m hoping for

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