Skip to content

Spring Break!!!

April 17, 2011

Hello Peanut Butter Cups! How has your weekend been?

Mine has been painful, that’s for sure. I had rehearsal from 11-6 both days with barely any break. The calf problem I’ve mentioned has returned. It is simply a knot in the belly of the muscle, but it is so large that it pulls on all the surrounding smaller muscles, making the whole area tight and sore. I was also in my pointe shoes for 5 hours today, which didn’t help my situation. Now as I sit here typing, my legs feel like a big bowl o’ jelly. But on the bright side, rehearsal was super fun and productive.

And on the even brighter side, spring break starts tomorrow!!! 🙂

I have off from ballet, and my mom is letting me take a break from school work too! Lemme tell you, I need this soooo badly, as my body seems to be falling apart!

Since I’ll be on break, I think I might take a bit of a blogging break too. I don’t want to say for sure that I won’t be posting, but I don’t promise new posts either. Remember how well taking a break went last time? How about if I feel like it and have time, then I will blog, k? I will definitely read all of your wonderful blogs, but I don’t know that I can comment. I want to spend this break getting tan, which I have physically been incapable of doing for the past 2 years (Thanks ED! Not.) being social, eating good food, and living my life. I’d prefer to spend minimal time in a computer coma. I hope you guys can all understand.

I think my brain is actually on break right now. I tried to type this paragraph 3 times and deleted it all. It’s just not coming together tonight folks. Sorry. So instead of trying to be creative, I’ll just get right to it: I want to make a list of my post-ED accomplishments.

  • I survived and thrived though a killer 14 hour weekend with enough steam left over to blog! 
  • I spontaneously bought a baguette from the French cafe next to my studio with 2 ballerina buddies. When we got there, there were none left, and we realized that a new batch was still in the oven. We waited 5 minutes and then got our bread, steaming hot. We split it into 3rds and devoured. YUM!
  • I try bites of people’s food and share bites of mine. I used to be such a stickler about this. I had prepared X number of calories for my meal, so I couldn’t try a bite of anyone elses because that would mean more calories. But at the same time, I was “allowed” all X of the calories I counted out, and thus, I didn’t want to waste share any of it.
  • I’ve grabbed a Hershey’s kiss, handful of soynuts, or some pretzels at random points throughout my day, not because I am hungry, but because I want the taste of food in my mouth.
  • I’ve had the desire to go out to the movies at 7:30 p.m. and had the energy to follow the story.
  • I’ve been asked out by a guy I really like. I suppose it has something to do with being physically attractive (thanks to being healthy) and not sick, emaciated, pale and depressed looking. It might also have to do with the fact that I can now carry on an intelligent conversation, where as before, talking to me was like talking to a fricken wall!
  • I eat brownies, donuts, bagels, sushi, fatty cream cheese, and full-fat ice cream in moderation. I never feel guilty. In fact, I don’t even give it a second thought.
  • I eat nanner + nutters like it is my job. I remember one night (about a year ago) for a snack my mom sat at the table with a banana, a jar of peanut butter, and a knife. I stared longingly and told her I wished I could eat that too. She replied, “You can. You said you couldn’t?” And she was right. I can. Hand me a nanner, a jar of nutter, and a spreading utensil, and I am set!
  • I don’t give a crap what my tummy looks like in my leotard anymore. It is what it is. There is no need to stress about it!
  • I’ve gained my large, strong, muscular, gloriously chiseled legs back completely. I do not store a drop of fat in my legs for whatever reason (thanks genetics…I guess? :-)) and the muscle definition is one of my physical features that I am most proud of. Remember these pictures? Well, now my legs are even larger, even more defined! 

And, most importantly:

  • I don’t measure, don’t count, and don’t give a flying fuck!!!

If I took some more time, I’m sure I could think of other things to add to this list, but I don’t want to right now. I am tired, and the new Family Guy episode starts in 8 minutes. So I’ll end right here.

If you have spring break next week, have a good, safe, fun one. If you don’t, I hope you have an amazing week as well! See ya’ later, alligators! 🙂


What have you accomplished since you’ve started recovery or have recovered?

What did you do/will you do for your spring break?

7 Comments leave one →
  1. time for happiness permalink
    April 17, 2011 9:18 pm

    I just went back and looked at that post you reffered to…. oh my god! Best thing I have ever seen, your beautiful!! And Blogging breaks are totally necessary at times, and I think you have it all correct my dear 🙂 I’ll be excited to read when you come back.. and untill then… have an amazingggg time my love!

  2. April 17, 2011 11:27 pm

    this is such a refreshing and inspiring post to read! way to go girl, sounds like you are enjoying life sooooo much!!! (i dont think ive ever commented but i have been keeping up with your blog! p.s. i am in LOVE with your beautiful curly hair!!!!!)

  3. April 18, 2011 12:19 am

    I love this list of things you’ve accomplished without ED! It’s really amazing! And don’t feel like you have to blog, just enjoy your spring break. I know I won’t have much time to blog this week because of millions of assignments for school (fun, NOT!) so I’m just looking forward to summer vacation in four weeks 😀

    I still have some bad ED habits that I’m working on getting rid of, but now I can usually eat out at a restaurant without feeling too nervous. I ate out twice this weekend and I really enjoyed both meals and didn’t freak out too much about how many calories I was eating. I just ate and had a good time!

    Enjoy your spring break, girlie!

  4. April 18, 2011 7:35 am

    You’re an amazing chickie, Bryana! I think you should tell us more about the guy that asked you out 😉

    Right now, I’m on *autumn* break from uni. I’ll be going to visit my Mama up north which I’m very excited about!

    Don’t worry about not blogging. Blogging is for YOU only. We are just the nosy ones here 😉


  5. April 18, 2011 8:31 am

    Yay for you Bryana!!! All your accomplishments are amazing and all I can do is congratulate you ! Enjoy your spring break – because you TOTALLY deserve it!

  6. April 18, 2011 1:39 pm

    Bryana you are amazing!! these are such great accomplishments- doesnt it feel SO GOOD!!!!!?!? have a wonderful break!!!!!!!!!

  7. April 19, 2011 11:17 pm

    you should be so proud of how far you have come Bryana 🙂 It is absolutely amazing!

    Hope you have a wonderful spring break! Enjoy the freedom!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: