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Eating Machine

April 4, 2011

The title explains it all. I thought I ate a lot yesterday, but today? It seems all I did was eat.

Let’s have another breakdown, shall we?

For brekkie I had 3/4 cup rolled oats with truvia, an apple and some strawberries cooked in, 3-nut butter, and some cacoa bliss. I drank my usual milk and coffee on the side.

Then, about 2 hours later, I went to the kitchen and ate again. I wasn’t hungry per say, but I wasn’t satisfied either. So ate a few potato chips, pretzels, and a handful of roasted soynuts. My mom came home for her lunch break at 1 o’clock, and she brought me a bagel with cream cheese from Dunkin Donuts for lunch. It wasn’t fat-free cream cheese either. It was supposed to be low-fat, but it was so flavorful, I think it was actually full-fat. I also had with it a fudgie and a spoonful of cacoa bliss. Seriously guys, eating that stuff is bliss!!! Yum!

I never liked a thick layer of cream cheese. But this amount is so yum!


I had a physical therapy appointment for a problem with my calves. The PT has such strong hands, and it was one of the most painful (in a good way) massages of my life!

On the way home, I drove my dad to the supermarket and he bought some stuff for himself. I got some bartlett pears and a bag of barbecue potato chips. Barbecue is obviously the best flavor! Anyway, for days I’d been having a craving for them, so as soon as we got home, I tore into the bag and enjoyed two large handfuls. Then I got started on dinner, which was pasta with tomato sauce, mozzarella and parmesan cheeses.

Still not satisfied, I had 2 more spoonfuls of nut butter, 3 spoonfuls of ice cream, and a clif bar. Afterwards for my official snack, I had 2 dates, another clif bar, and a big bowl of ice cream. It was not any of the light, slow-churned, low-fat stuff, but full fat, with 8g in 1/2 cup. I topped it with a spoonful each of cacoa bliss, peanut butter, pistachio butter, and strawberry jam. I ended the night with a fudgie and one last large handful of chips. I seriously do not know what in the world is happening!!! Like I just said, this whole time I have not actually been hungry. But I just crave the food. Anything high in fat or sugary carbs just  sounds so appetizing right now.

I don’t really know what is causing this sudden increase in appetite. Today I learned that I am finally at 110 pounds (goal weight). Now I just have to maintain, though the doctors did say I could gain a few more if I wanted. But now I know that getting my period back could very well happen. I know I’ve heard it can take  months of being at a stable, healthy BMI for it to come back, but in all honestly, I do not think it will take that long. I have always been astounded at my body’s health, strength, and resiliency. When I was little and got a cold, I got better within 3 days, and I haven’t had one in over a year. I’ve never had a flu shot and I have never gotten the flu in my life. I have never broken a bone either. If I cut myself, it healed completely within days. I rarely get headaches or any other aches for that matter. I went 2 years without a period and didn’t get osteopenia.

And now I have a feeling I’ll get my period soon. I do not want to sound overly hopeful or foolish. I don’t want it to seem like I am being naive or just plain dumb. But I simply cannot think of another reason for this sudden, random increase in appetite. I am not growing anymore – I have grown 1 inch in 4 years. I am not exercising more than usual, as my ballet schedule is the same and I do no additional exercise. I can only think that the reason for this continued urge to eat –especially fats –  is because my hormones are finally balancing out. I hope I am craving fat so that it can finally go back to my breasts. I hope that I am craving calories in general so that my estrogen level gets back to normal and my period gets started again. Maybe I am being silly. But I just have this feeling, like something good is going to happen really soon! 🙂


Do you ever crave food even if you are not necessarily hungry?

What’s your favorite potato chip flavor?

…And I’m still taking questions for my Q&A post.  

7 Comments leave one →
  1. time for happiness permalink
    April 4, 2011 8:37 pm

    well I think its good that you are eating what you crave, and I think this is a very good thing! It might seem a little weird and different… but I think its a good thing!!!

  2. April 4, 2011 11:27 pm

    It’s amazing that you’re able to listen to what your body is craving and probably needs for whatever reason! I really hope you can get your period back very soon because you’ve been working so so hard. I have never had a period naturally (without being on hormones) so I can only imagine how happy you’ll be!
    I do sometimes eat when I’m not necessarily hungry. Usually it’s at the end of a scheduled snack and I feel like maybe I didn’t quite eat enough or I rushed through it and didn’t enjoy it. It’s scary, but it’s normal!
    I only eat baked potato chips every once in awhile, but my favorite flavor ever was one they used to have at Target, Archer Farms Jamaican Jerk baked chips. They were spicy and just good but they don’t make them anymore 😦

  3. April 5, 2011 2:08 am

    keep listening to ur body- honestly.. if its hungry- its telling you something.. it soundsl ike its kicking back into gear and trying to start up your period and development.. fats definitely help produce hormones so keep that peanut butter coming ;)!

  4. April 5, 2011 6:58 am

    I get like that too! I’m not necessarily hungry but I still have the urge to eat because it’s like my MIND is still hungry. I figure it’s because even though my body is no longer being starved, my mind is still trying to make up for 5 years of deprivation.

    You sound like you are in a really good place with your body! I hope you and I will both get our periods back very soon 🙂


  5. Sarah permalink
    April 5, 2011 10:47 am

    You’re approaching this so well. It would be so easy for ed to have a hayday and go crazy telling you you’ve eaten too much but you’re not letting that happen. You’re reminding yourself that eating because you WANT to eat is just fine. Your tummy doesn’t have to be growling like crazy for you to have a snack. You can have a snack just because you want a snack! : )

    It’s good to hear your bones are okay after not having your period for so long. Mine aren’t okay and lemme tell ya, finding out was one of the most upsetting things I’ve had to go through in recovery. I hope you are craving fats because your estrogen levels are increasing. My dietician always tells me that when I get my period back naturally we will know that I’m around 90% of my body’s set point. It sounds like you’re almost there! Keep it up : )


  6. April 5, 2011 12:41 pm

    I love you positive attitude about all this Bryana. I have days like this from time to time as well and it kinda freaks me out. But I definitely will work on trying to focus on the health benefits that extra food will be giving me – like you do!

  7. April 5, 2011 5:05 pm

    I’m so happy that you’ve been able to feed your body what it wants. I’m sure that it appreciates it and will repay the favor by giving you your monthly gift! I’m am so so proud of you Bryana, you seem to be challenging alot and that is amazing.
    Keep up the good work(:

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