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Habitual Rituals

March 28, 2011

Hey Beauties! Happy Monday. I hope your day was amazing. 🙂

I want to thank you for all of the support on my last post about my weight and eating. It means so much, and was incredibly helpful and insightful. Sadly, I can’t cut back on exercise right now. Dance is really intense as we are rehearsing and preparing for our show in a month. But Katy’s comment reminded me of something: I still consume many fat-free dairy products. My string and cottage cheeses are 1%, but my Chobani and milk are 0%. I have a few more containers of chobani, and about 2/3 carton of milk left. I obviously am not going to throw them out, (how wasteful would that be?) but once they’re gone I’ll upgrade to a higher fat content. I don’t think I can do full fat. Surprisingly, I don’t think that’s an ED thing. I never liked fatty, rich-tasting foods, but maybe a 1 or 2% milk/yogurt I could handle.

Now, let me just say, I am no sketch artist. I drew most of this over a year ago, and finished up her left arm and right leg last month. I wanted a ballerina who was neither anorexic nor naturally a string bean. This is similar to what I used to look like: a bit of a tummy, breasts, and a butt. This girl is not “skinny” but she is slim womanly, and beautiful. I purposely made her faceless, so she represents healthy, real ballerinas everywhere! 🙂

 

How ’bout I do some explaining right about now as to what my title is getting at. Well, it is about  food rituals! And since I have quite a few of them (that would involve too much typing) and I love to ramble, I have another vloggie for your viewing pleasure!

So yeah, really soon after I finished recording that my memory card filled up. I don’t have a mac, so I use my digital camara to record these. And let me tell ya’, I have got far too many pictures on my camara card, so it’s no surprise it keeps getting full!

Qs~

Do you have any food rituals or habits?

PC or Mac? 😉

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. Inês permalink
    March 28, 2011 6:06 pm

    Uau, loved it. Amazed! really weird when you don’t know someone and sort of imagine that person, and how she looks and her voice..and I imagined your voice differently! lool so cool. I loved it! You look so happy and so beautiful!

    do you have a facebook? you could tell us what is the link? or maybe no..

    Mac, def! =)

    xx

  2. Alexandra permalink
    March 28, 2011 7:45 pm

    hehehe i love your vlogs. you are so cute! i used to have CRAZY food rituals but i have gotten so completely away from them! i love no food rituals! I always used to either stir in my oatmeal toppings or eat them last, but now i eat it as i go and it is so much more satisfying that way! xxxx

  3. March 28, 2011 8:50 pm

    I do the bowl and mug thing with my breakfast(s). For some reason not using the same ones causes anxiety..but then if I do HAVE to use a different one for whatever reasonl, sometimes I’ll get stuck on that one and not want to change back. hehe >.> Food rituals? I don’t know if I have rituals so much as I have to do things until they feel “right”

  4. March 28, 2011 9:51 pm

    I’m loving these vlogs! And I’m glad to see that other people have weird food habits, too. With Kashi granola bars, I always always always take the dark chocolate chips off (if they have them) and save them for last, and then I eat those one at a time. I don’t know why, I just can’t eat the bar all at once! Also, sometimes when I’m eating something and I want to make sure I savor it, I take a small bite (usually with bars), and then wait for exactly two minutes to take another bite. Haha, I’m so weird 😉

    Oh, and I’m a PC girl, too. I got this really cool colorful patterned laptop for my birthday and I love it!

    I really like your drawing! You’re a good artist, and I love that you made the dancer look healthy, instead of the unhealthy ‘ideal’ portrayed in the media.

  5. March 28, 2011 10:15 pm

    I love your vlogs! My food rituals really just center around measuring. My breakfast is very carefully prepared in the same way every morning and the way I space my exchanges throughout the day is essentially the same.
    I am a PC girl as of now but I would love a Mac.
    I also love your drawing, that ballerina looks healthy! And I bet if she had a face she would be smiling(:

  6. Lucy permalink
    March 28, 2011 10:37 pm

    Beautiful! I love it that drawing- so profound!

    Just wondering…how tall are you?

  7. March 29, 2011 2:08 am

    i love your drawing!! that ballerina has a beautiful figure!! MAc for me!

  8. March 29, 2011 2:24 pm

    No need to apologize for your looks, you look great! So awake and ready for the day 🙂

    Beautiful picture! I like all that it symbolizes 🙂

    And I love the vlog! I think we can all relate to food rituals, even though everybody has different ones that don’t seem to make sense. But I don’t think it is a terrible thing, I mean, it is just a part of our OCD personalities you know? I think that with time and being weight restored, they slowly go away 🙂

    Hope you are having a great day today!

    Scott

    • March 29, 2011 2:28 pm

      Oh, and Mac or PC? I have an imac (rather, my parents do) and I run linux! So I guess both/neither 😉

  9. March 29, 2011 4:03 pm

    I used to have a BUNCH of food rituals that included time limits for eating foods and ways I had to eat them, but those were definitely ED related and I’m happy to say I’ve basically gotten over them. I’m still attached to my bowl (which I eat most everything out of) but that’s about it.

    And I’ve only ever had a PC, so I couldn’t compare. Though I’ve heard Mac is better 😛

  10. March 30, 2011 3:31 pm

    I can’t see your videos 😦

    • April 3, 2011 10:29 pm

      I am so sorry Haley. I wonder why!?!?! You are the first to report a problem, so I’ll see if I can figure out how to fix it.

  11. April 1, 2011 3:23 am

    How did I not see this earlier?! I love your vlogs! When it comes to food rituals, they always sound weird when you tell people about them but in your head they always make sense. Like you, I still eat my breakfast out of the same bowl and with the same spoon. I can’t tell if it’s just a preference thing or an OCD ED thing like you mentioned. My therapist told me that eating food with a smaller spoon is an ED habit but I find it’s just much easier to hold in your hand than a proper dessert spoon so I don’t know… It’s very interesting to hear your habits though. I’ve always wondered if people had habits like mine. I used to have heaps of food rituals but as I started to eat more randomly I tend not to have anymore rituals these days.

    As for the full-fat dairy products, I always thought that I preferred low-fat dairy. It wasn’t until that I got used to the taste of fat that I found that I truly preferred full-fat dairy. Now, I don’t consume ANY low-fat product (except for soy milk because full-fat soy milk tastes soooo nasty….*gag*). With time you actually do get used to what you think are *rich* foods now. They tend to be a lot less rich when you’re used to them 😛

    xxx

  12. April 2, 2011 3:33 pm

    Mac please!!
    I just found your blog. What an inspiring post. I am worried that as I gain weight I WON’T feel like going out and seeing people.
    It was interesting to hear your food rituals because it helps me to see that I actually have quite a few. I do the thing with the microwave too; I’ll put like 1/2 a wheat thin in with a bit of cheese and melt it and that’s all I’ll be able to have of cheese. It needs to stop though. Do you have any suggestions for stopping rituals and are you working to do so?

    • April 3, 2011 10:27 pm

      Hi! Thanks for stopping by! I think it is true for most people that with weight gain comes the natural desire to be social once again. I wouldn’t worry. It may be sooner or later, but it will come! As for the rituals, I have noticed that as I stopped measuring and counting, I have stopped several rituals. Pre-ED, I didn’t have food rituals, and as I developed the disorder, the rituals developed as well. Now as I recover, the rituals are slowly fading away. 🙂

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