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What More Can I Do?

March 27, 2011

**May possibly be triggering?**

I didn’t count calories again today. I weighed/measured some food but didn’t calculate anything based off of it. It was definitely harder today than it was yesterday. In a way it has been liberating; I helped myself to more free samples: 2 large chunks of Irish soda bread. Yet sadly, ED was a bit more talkative, and I sorta kinda restricted a teeny bit at lunch.

I’ve been having these sessions of overeating. I wouldn’t call them binges because I have also binged before. When I binged, it was completely out of control, but with this, I take the time to savor and enjoy my food. But I also eat a ton of it (think dates, walnuts, peanut butter) and end up with a stomach ache.

It makes no sense because yesterday when I was hungry I told myself, “Don’t eat that luna bar, save it for later.” But then I went to my kitchen at 11 at night and ate 3 large dates and 3 big handfuls of nuts. I wasn’t hungry. In fact, I was full. Yet I forced it down anyway.

See, the reason for my purposeful overeating is that I am having the hardest time gaining weight. At first (back in January), in 1 week I gained 2 pounds eating 2,500-2,600 calories. Then, eating the same amount, I gained 1 + 2/3 pound in 1 week. Now, in 4 weeks, I’ve gained 1.5 pounds. That’s about 1/3 pound in 1 week. I know why. I weigh more so I burn more, so I need more food. But it is unfair, as I now eat 2,800-3,000-calories daily and barely gain. I still need to gain 1-2 more pounds, and I don’t know what to do.

The two late night, high calorie snacks don’t even seem to be helping. I’m so stuck and confused. I seriously need my period back, but my weight isn’t budging. I really don’t know what more I can do. If what I’m eating isn’t enough, I do not know what is. 😦



Any suggestions for my weight gain dilemma?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. March 27, 2011 10:14 pm

    Just be patient! Your body will find its happy place. It took a while to get my period back (were talking 6+ months of being at a BMI of 20) but everyone is different. SO just keep doing what your doing and you’ll get there. But like I said, be patient and dont give up! Can you cut back on your exercise? That could be effecting it a lot!

  2. March 27, 2011 11:27 pm

    I agree with Dana! I wish I had words of wisdom or experience I could tell you, but when I was trying to gain weight, it took me a year to gain 14 pounds. So yeah, definitely not quick at all. I’m not quite sure how much I was eating then, definitely more than now at least for the first few months and then I slowly started eating less and less. One thing I can suggest is making a high-calorie shake of some sort right before bed–my former nutritionist had me doing that and it helped…well, somewhat 😉

    Keep it up, and I know you’ll get there, Bryana!!!

  3. March 28, 2011 6:21 am

    Weight gain is a difficult thing especially when you want to gain and you’re eating so much but you just can’t. Are you eating full fat products yet? That’s the next step if you aren’t. Seriously, they are yummy 🙂

    As for eating yet not actually feeling hungry, this is because even though your body physically may not need anymore food, your mind is still starving so it’s taking advantage of the food available. Don’t worry this happened to me as well. The further you get into recovery, the more this way of eating eases. Like all things it just takes time. You can do this sweetie 🙂


  4. March 28, 2011 1:57 pm

    So sorry about your frustration. I don’t have anything more to say then what’s been said above, but I am keeping you in my thoughts. Just hang in there Bryana, and remember how far you have already come. This’ll all be over before you know it, and you will be so happy you stuck it out!

  5. March 28, 2011 8:12 pm

    Bryana I am so sorry the weight gain is so tough right now 😦 I know that for myself, I had to be at 3500 PLUS extra supplements whenever I worked out or went on a bike ride. It was really tough, but I promise you it gets easier, and your body really does want to be at its healthy weight once you get there.


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