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I’m On a Plateau, But the Mountain Goes Higher.

January 24, 2011

Good evening! I hope you all had a spectacular Monday. 🙂

Mine has been pretty accomplished actually. Got a 98% on my science test and after procrastinating like hell, finally finished my Spanish project!

The last couple of days have been good and bad in terms of recovery. I have not restricted yet on my self-created weight gain diet. That is good. It’s been 1 week and I’m still going strong, consistently eating as many calories as my dietitian has suggested I eat for gaining. Like I mentioned yesterday, I have tried a whole bunch of new foods and I have been adding more variety and volume to my meals. Yesterday morning I weighed myself and discovered I gained a little – I think. My scale is the definition of the words “crappy quality,” so I can’t really be certain. But if it’s true and I have gained, then it’s great that my efforts are starting to pay off.

Pear-y, Cherry, Almond Oats: 3/4 cup rolled oats, truvia, 1 chopped pear, 7 cherries, 2 tablespoons almond butter. Bucket o’ coffee and glass of moo juice on the side.

 

But I’m getting worried that I am becoming faaaaaaaar too comfy where I am right now. I feel like for the past two weeks, I have been climbing this mountain to recovery, and suddenly, instead of struggling up the steep rocks, I’ve made it to a  flat plateau. Now I know that this is not the top of the mountain yet. I know it goes much higher and there’s more climbing to be done. But that’s just it. I’m tired, and the plateau is so damn convenient to stay on. Though I’m not making my way further up, I’m not tumbling back down either, so how bad could it be?

Very bad. Very, very, very bad. I move on autopilot with food. I don’t think of restricting, nor do I think of increasing or changing it up somehow. I am afraid that by not progressing, I’ll start to get cocky and dance on the very edge of the cliff, then slip, plummeting straight back down to the bottom. I eat enough now, and I am not concerned with the calories I consume per day being too much. Three months ago I would have laughed in your face and dumped oatmeal down your shirt for suggesting I could physically handle eating this much, let alone volunteer to. Now, its a non-issue.

Speaking of oatmeal…Yesterday’s combo was good, but a little off. I felt compelled to give savory oats another shot. But this time I moved a little further west. Enter Italian-Inspired Pizza Oatmeal. I mean, risotto marinara is quite similar, and oats are just as much of a grain as rice is. The only problem I had with this was that I cooked the oats to be a little too soupy, and I prefer them very thick. In the mix: 3/4 cup rolled oats, steamed broccoli, purple onion, spinach leaves, red bell peppers, jalepenos, marinara sauce, fat-free mozzarella (which is gross if it’s not melted…lotsa protein though…), parmesan cheese, and basil. Next time with thicker oats, I know this will be fantastic! With it I had a container of chobani + truvia, 1 tbs raisins, 1/2 banana, and some honey.

 

The problem now is that I eat the food, but only after I measure, weigh, and count every morsel that contributes to my meal. My breakfast, for example, is completely dissected. Fruit is weighed; oats, nut butter, and milk is measured to a tee. The only components that go unscathed are my truvia and coffee. Meals these days are one step forward, one step back. I gladly eat the xxx calories (step forward), but only if I can control it to be precisely xxx calories (step back). Because of this, I obviously don’t end up getting where I’m going.

I think today’s that day.

 

So, I have concluded that I need a push. Actually, more like a really big shove. My next goal is to start the climb off the plateau, back up this mountain. I know once I make it up those first few feet, it will be easier to keep the momentum going. However, I am at a loss for how to get started. Where a good place to get my footing to start my ascent is, I do not know. 

Gah!  I am sorry I have used this mountain metaphor to death. You seriously deserve a Hugh Jass pat on the back if you put up with it and read whole post!!! As of now, I have a Dr. appointment Wednesday, so I can know for sure how much I’ve “gained.” I guess I’ll make some decisions and take it from there.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. January 25, 2011 12:57 pm

    Hey Bryana!
    Thanks for your comment and for reading!
    You seem so determined- you CAN beat the ED!
    My advice to help you move forward is try to NOT measure just 1 thing per meal or per day; whichever feels more attainable. I mean, do you really think you’re going to eat 7 cups of fruit instead of 2? 😉
    good luck girl and feel free to email me if you ever wanna talk more!

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