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Bone Density Scan

January 20, 2011

Yeah, I had that done today. The office is about 7 minutes from my house, and my appointment was for 11, but they tell us to be 15 minutes early. Because my Dad is late for everything, we left at 10:40. Long story short, it was 11:40 by the time they called me in. The actual scan was about 7 minutes total and I was in the room with the scan machine for no more than 11 or 12 minutes. So I left my house at 10:40, just to be seen at 11:40?!?!?! Kind of rude, no?

The first part of lunch yesterday. Liquid weight gain in a bottle (a.k.a. ensure plus) and an apple. I may or may not have been halfway done with eating the apple in question before I took the picture.

 

Now that I’m on that topic, how are you guys with promptness? Are you the kind of person who always leaves on the dot and gets anxious if you get off schedule? Or could you really not care less, leave whenever, and get there when you get there? I for one am definitely the first. I alway try to plan things so that I leave at the time I decided I would leave. And when I leave late, even literally just 1 minute later than planned, I get soooooo anxious. They weirdest absolutely dumbest part is that often, I don’t mind if I actually end up being late, so long as I left on time. Then it’s not my fault, because I made every effort to be punctual. I guess it goes back to me trying to control every aspect of my life.

Broke out of my 2 month-long, Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal breakfast rut. This consisted of 3/4 cup dry oats cooked with truvia, 1 chopped apple, 2 tablespoons Smuckers pb, and 1 tablespoon raisins.  So creamy!

 

This is the third day of my “eating for weight gain” diet. I’ve upped my calories about 25% since Monday. I am pleasantly surprised to say that my body is handling the amount of food extremely well. In fact, yesterday, I was a bottomless pit. The meals that usually keep me full for 4-5 hours only kept me full for 3. Whenever I’d start to get hungry, I’d go from being not hungry to being famished in a matter of about 5 minutes. I am hoping that this means my metabolism and digestive system are speeding up. Yesterday it felt like my metabolism went from virtually non-existent to a flaming wild-fire, devouring everything in its path.

Lunch: 1 cup of chobani with cinnamon+truvia, 1/3 cup cheerios, 1/2 cup kashi GL, 1 tbs strawberry preserves, 1 tbs soynut butter, an apple, and 1/4 cup of soynut/pepita/craisin/almond mix.

If this is in fact the case, I have major plans to keep that fire burning brightly. For the first time in a year and a half, I have an intense desire to get better. This is new. It’s not the desire to gain weight to stop going to the doctor or to get my parents off my back. It’s the pure hunger (pun intended) to heal for no one but me. The best part? Any feeling of a need to restrict or obsess insanely has vanished! I am more ready than I have ever been to eat the food I love and gain the weight I need. Years ago, I learned that a woman’s body, unlike a man’s body, needs a little extra fat to be healthy and function properly. A couple of weeks ago, I accepted this fact. Today, I am ready to fully embrace it.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. January 21, 2011 3:20 am

    Hi, I’m a new follower of your blog.

    I want to just tell you that you should be really proud of yourself for the way you are now jumping into recovery with both feet. Eating more and upping your calorie intake can be scary, but it is 100% necessary in order to be healthy. And that is the most important thing.

    Keep up the good work! I look forward to reading.

  2. February 13, 2011 12:14 am

    Hey!

    So I just found your blog, and let me tell you, YOU ARE AMAZING! I love your attitude towards recovery, and accepting it for what it is 🙂 you truly are an amazing person!

    I am reading through a lot of older posts right now, and I can’t wait to read more!

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