Something to Think About
Hello everyone. Long time, no blog, huh?
I’m sorry. I just haven’t had the time or energy to post anything these days. Hopefully I will blog more frequently this month though, since I have a lot going on that I’d like to share.
To sum everything up, I’m not doing well. I stopped purging, but my weight is at 109 now, down from 116 in October/November. I’m hungry all the time; no shit, since I restrict really badly. I’m literally always exhausted. The school day is becoming really difficult to get through, and ballet is even worse. I keep cancelling plans with my friends because I’m too tired. I have dark circles under both eyes like someone’s punched me, and I’m constantly nauseous and light-headed. And I know it’s all because of my diet and low weight, but I can’t seem to inspire myself to eat more and to gain. Most of my motivation is gone.
But I’ll go into more detail on this another time. On the bright side, I get my license this month (if I pass), for which I’m insanely excited!!!!! 26 days until my road test.
Also, I was on tumblr earlier. (By the way, does anybody have one? Mine is http://ifitsnotokay.tumblr.com/ if you’re interested in checking it out and following. If you have one too, link to it in the comments and I’ll gladly take a look! ) Anyway, I saw this picture and really loved the statement in it:
Food is fuel. Yes, it’s also a form of pleasure, but in the end, it’s simply a source of energy for your body to function the way it needs to. It’s not the enemy, nor is it the therapist with which you comfort-eat yourself into oblivion. It is just fuel.
This picture seriously gave me something to think about: how I view food, and why my relationship with it is what it is. Maybe it can give you guys something to ponder as well?
Goodnight, my loves!